Give me a noose

I choked it, but I don’t want to just give up on myself. Next time this happens, I need to have learned from my mistakes. I’m going to be as specific and general as possible. If you’re confused, read on.

I’ve had this close friend for a long time. This year has proven to be tough, and I didn’t make things better. Just recently, I came down hard on my friend – for probably the fifth time in the last few months. I definitely didn’t learn from the previous times, and this last time was the last straw.

I lost my train of thought. I hate when this happens.

I don’t feel like I’m worthy to be this person’s friend. At the same time, they’re just fed up with how I’ve been towards them. What do I want? I don’t know. This person is ticked at how I’ve been, and they said they’re not going to think of me like they used to. I’m this weird and eccentric guy that doesn’t get over things easily.

I want to change this part of me. I won’t just accept it as who I am, because it’s a destructive part. So, I’m going to list some things I think I need to take into consideration before giving someone the cold shoulder.

  • Put yourself in their shoes. If you’ve only got two pieces of the puzzle, and there’s 20 total, you’ve got some more hunting to do.
  • Don’t make assumptions, because when that happens, you might say something you’ll regret.
  • If you’ve got something on your mind, speak up before it eats you up and forces you to say something you’ll regret.

I don’t what more I’ll do with this person, but it’ll be awhile before I can say anything to them (comfortably). It’s kind of like WWII, and I’m hoping it’ll just take time to rebuild. However, if I’ve hammered this too much and completely destroyed everything, all I can do is move on and improve myself that I won’t do it again.

In any case, can you please help me out, as a friend, and give me some constructive criticism? I’d appreciate it. Thanks.

Published by

Bryan Villarin

Bryan works at Automattic. He's also a cat whisperer. Sometimes…a photographer, and card magician.

2 thoughts on “Give me a noose”

  1. Well I dont know how much this advice is gonna help but Im gonna give it a try. We are all human and everyone makes mistakes and I think if you give it time and put some effort into your friendship then I dont see why you guys cant still be friends. But your right it is gonna be uncomfortable for a while but if you are a real friend then you should be able to make things work if not right away then later on. Just remember that sometimes we cant control what happens in life but most things happen for a reason or at least thats what I like to think. You just have to make do with what you have and be thankful for what you have right now. I hope this helps. 🙂


  2. Well, I don’t have much right now (if you’re talking in terms of the relationship). With everything else, I’m probably just fine. Thanks for taking the time to write.


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